These are the things that happen when you think New York's not looking:

When the light is right and the clouds are just as they should be, hovering, balancing twice as precarious as they really are, just above the tip-tops of the skyscrapers, a blanket on pins.. the lights of the Chrysler and Empire State reflect on the bottoms of clouds. I used to be in love with the shadows of clouds on Desert Mountains. Now I am learning to love the way the city lights reflect on the underside of clouds. These lower east side windows expand, they are expansive. Like in Warhol's "Empire," I watch time go by here. It's almost unnoticeable, until you notice it. That is my view. (Until I leave this neighborhood but I will discuss that at a later time.)

I feel epic here, walking in this strange, random, driven city, leaning backwards from the railing over the reservoir in Central Park. I walk all the time. I feel good physically, not like I did on the farm of course, what with the hot tunnel-air in the subways, the smog I haven't really noticed, and stress, all of which make me feel contracted at times, but I do feel good. I feel lasting, sustainable, but more abstractly, I feel epic just for the act of living in this city and understanding how the wind blows around the often fleshy corners of buildings.

I like the way, when the subway train comes around the bend, you can see only how the headlights reflect on the blue bars on the perimeter of the platform almost, almost like the moon on the moving surface of a dark-night-ocean.

I have acquired an affinity for being near greatness. Or if not greatness than bigness of some sort. This is not a quality I am proud of, but what can I say. I ran all the way from Central Park to 11th Ave where the Daily Show is taped in order to shake hands with Terry Gilliam. I told him so and he said, well at least you got some exercise. He was pan handling there with a sign that read "Studioless film, will direct for food." Few recognized him and he made quite a bit of money. I went to a Q&A with Lou Reed, after which I nearly cried while telling him about my friend in the hospital who loves his music. Of course there is Noel Gallagher and the incident where my intellect dropped below my feet when I tried to talk to him in the Green Room during the Oasis film screening I worked at the other day. Matt Pinfield was so kind and interested in what music we liked after his interview. Oh and Cody Chestnut that night but this is all beside the point.

The point is that I feel quite full (not because of celebrities). I am very engaged and involved and IN it. I do miss the farm and MS and Portland and the desert and vast spaces conducive to big thoughts, but I am transitioning and learning and building. Despite the randomness that is very loud here, I have found a community in Subject To Change (the art collective (no, MS friends, not a pretentious thing in the least!)) and good, old friends. I will try to make this a regular thing, this bloggery. Until then, here are some contrasting photos from the last few months.